She wants to know

Wow, my sweet Ali came to me tonight and casually said something that I think has been weighting heavy on her heart.  As a mom it was one of those moments that stroke hard.  I will remember where I was standing for this one.  She looked and me and said,   "Mom your right I shouldn't have wished to grow up fast."  "Why is that?" I asked. "Because as you grow you loose some of your cute personality.  I look at Madi and see all the cute things she does and think I used to do that.  I used to play with dolls.  I did funny things that people laughed at."  (I must say the first thing that went through my mind was wow Ali is growing and she is amazing she is smart she can speak her frustrations clearly.)  I said yes Madi does like to play babies and you did too at a time.   But you are lucky you can write songs and play them on the guitar, Madi can't come close to that."  She smiled, she knew it was true.  The conversation continued and filtered down to; why does Madi get all the attention, why do you spend more time with her,  why does she get to stay up with you at night... The list could go on for Ali.  She needs to know that she is still my everything too.  I sure try to do this and I did mention the special things I like to do for just her but she needs more, more of me. I am glad she could express what she is going through.  She has been a trooper through the move and the transition living at grandma's  and grandpa's.  But my heart hurts for her.  I am trying to be what she needs through this busy thing we call life.